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Saturday, July 02, 2005

ok. im faithful enough to update this blogg once a week. hee. well its chio man joannie got her MAIN blog. hee. dont leave this blogger alone!!! hurhurs. when the happy and sad times we spend together.. then update in here. (: wooties
today was SPRING CLEANING in zlscc. yeahie. so fun. -.- i cleaned the drums. yeah. its clean. (: thanks to my hands. bleah... and i painted the walls. with other ppl too. yeah. and my hands were dotted with not yellow not white not orange paint. eeks. ok, its washable, so not that scary. lol. so it went on and on. it was fine [for me] til we had this debrief of the whole day.
so here it goes..
DAD: why is there bits and pieces of rubbish[which is actually masking tape!] on the floor? take it out!"
JIE ME and some other ppl: NOOOO! its for dance tml!
DAD: so what? [or something like that...] i want it to be more nicer not like that! we have just cleaned up the century u know!
ME: @#$%^&* what siol
helped jie by putting BRIGHT YELLOW tape kinda thing on the floor. what the. so pissed. i mean.. for that moment. i cant take it. like.. what the f lor. its for dance. so what? it will be removed by tml after service right. flare up for what man. raise your voice big eh?? what siol. wah lao. i cant go on. the anger aint there anymore. its not wise to be angry forever when i know that i still have to see my papa edveryday right. its stupid. so im not. this kinda things.. hai. its life. what to do. ask God for wisdom lor. close eyes.. and talk to God. i manage to calm down. hahas. (:
so jie was more Pissed than me.
plus.. oh ya. the youth dialogue thingy. its suck. really. i mean... isnt it logical that if a person asks a question.. and if actions are needed he/she has to do it? rather than the person or people who are answering suppose to do it? huh?? wah liao. fancy asking me and jie to do sign actions like "yo! wassup!" and like "peace"... i mean... comeon la! do it yourself la! no hands isit? wah lao. shall see tml how it goes. arghs. soemtimes. i dont get them man. ok.. maybe him. i would rather have a dad that understands me... being a friend that i dont fear about telling my thoughts and feelings..even about boys and stuff. its not possible with papa. cant. CANNOT. if i were to say about bf and stuff.. he will say.. wait til your 21 than say. i mean... wah lao! siao?? pls be in the present man. not in the past! arghs. dicky's parents are way cooler than mine. they supported him when he liked that someone. though it didnt work out.. so what? my point is... his parents supported his decision on GIRLS when he was like.. what.. 16? or maybe younger. that is so cool lor. ahh. can just imagine so many ppl saying..
wah! your parsents are so nice! how fortuate. pui.whatever. maybe i will. some day. maybe soon.
ok.. enough about parents.
laureen emailed me. thought it was rather encouraging? at least there is a person that i know that really thinks the same way as i do-for relationships. i mean.. yeah. mistakes are made in the past. i dont wanna turn back.. but its tempting. it almost happened. yes. it did. manss... im so lost in relationships. what if he is totally perfect for you and stuff.... but no feelings? what would u do? wait? til when? hai. if God were to say that he has a perfect match for me on earth..than do i have to wait til im odd-30 to find that person.. and just that person? by human nature its difficult. struggles. arghs. then what are relationships for? the mind-cept of single peeps are like this:::
relationships just start.. WILL end and you crumble.. break down.. cry. loss friends. bleah bleah bleah.... so on.
ppl in relationships are totally different i must say. yes. u can ask ard. sighs. maybe i shouldnt go into relationships.
maybe God gave me maybe probs to teach me how to be strong and overcome them? hai. how great it would be when i know what kinda prob he will give me. then i will be strong. isnt that good? being a teenage girl and a strong christian [to me la]... its tough. like jie said. i dont wanna give up. cos i think a lot. yes. so i look forward to the future that one day, just one day.. God will come upon this earth.. and i can finally open the door of heaven and enter.. w/o worrying whether whatever i did on earth doesnt pls the Lord. i hope that will happen. i so need the confidence and bonus when approaching friends. it is great when i can go on the streets.. see anyone and go up to the person and just share about God and how he changed my life. tat would be so great can. hai. but i cant just sit here and wait? fasting? being goody2 to parents? [ya right... ok.. maybe true. hai] i dont know man. God aint speaking to me. i cant hear his voice. i just realised... i haven heard God's still small voice before. ever! what sia. so God, pls speak to me! maybe i was busy when u wanted to speak to me. :P hee.
ahh. ok.. its quite a long entry. chem is getting along. poa is not. hahaha. maybe revise yet. the bk is cool man. page 338 le. wooties. gonna complete real soon man. hee.
ok.. til then. lina OUT

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